Baseball and Heroes Don't Mix
by Romaniasdoll
Summary: What happens when the Avengers invite Loki and Fury to a baseball game? {Frostiron Warning}


It was an 'average' August day for the Avengers. It was sunny after a week of being stuck inside due to a storm caused to Thor's grudge against Tony for eating the last poptart.

"Tony! I'm bored!" Clint whined for the millionth time.

"Mute," Tony hissed at his television, and craned his neck around the couch. Loki was sitting next to him, flipping through a Midgardian magazine, not really paying attention. "What do you want? Un-bore yourself. Go shoot apples off of Bruce's head." Said scientist glared at him from over his book, sitting in a chair in the other corner of the room.

"I can't!" He climbed over the leather sofa, sliding between the two. The god looked annoyed before scooting over.

It was then that Steve, Natasha and Thor came strolling into the room, also looking quite bored. "Come on, Tony! Let's do something! All of us!"

"Like _what_? There's nothing to do in New York."

"Well," Steve cleared his throat as everyone looked at him. "There's... baseball?"

* * *

"MOVE BITCH, GET OUT MY WAY!" Tony yelled at some kid, glaring down at the pest. Wide hazel eyes looked up, before scampering off down the aisle. All of the Avengers, including Fury and Loki, filed into the seats in Yankee stadium. "I can't believe you lured me into this," He grumbled, sitting between Steve and Loki. The order went as so; Loki against the wall, Tony, Steve, Thor, Clint, Natasha, Fury and Bruce on the end, so he didn't get claustrophobic. That would not be good.

Steve scoffed. "You know you will enjoy this. Man, I love baseball. I remember coming to one with Bucky..." The man trailed off.

"What is 'baseball'?" Thor and Loki asked in Unison, before the raven haired man turned away.

"It's a bunch of men hitting a ball with a bat, and they run around those," Tony started telling Loki while Clint described it to Thor, using gestation to show them the bases, dugouts, excreta. Thor nodded along, but looked utterly lost while Loki seemed to be grasping the basic concept.

Slowly, the seats began to fill with more fans. "Who are we even playing?" Clint leaned over Thor and Steve, asking the billionaire who managed to buy last-minute tickets for all of them (Despite Steve's protests that he could pay for himself, he didn't want to be a bother.)

"Uh... Saint Louis Cardinals." Tony nodded, leaning back and pulling his dark sunglasses that cost more than your child to his eyes. He threw his right leg over his left knee, careful not to kick Loki as he did so, picking up the beer he had bought back at the concessions. Loki rolled his eyes.

"You are going to end up drowning in all the alcohol you consume, 'Man of Iron'." The god of Lies shook his head, leaning back in his seat and using his hand to shield his eyes form the sun. "Gah! It is so bright. Why did you drag me to this?"

"Because, I thought it would be fun," Smirking, Tony turned to look at him.

Meanwhile, Fury had his normal scowl on his face. "Why did_ I_ have to come to this stupid ass game?" He demanded, looking at Natasha who just shrugged and watched the field.

"Because you and Banner never do anything with us! You guys should tag along more," Clint gave a lopsided grin.

Bruce rolled his eyes, pulling a book from his coat which he managed to smuggle past Tony in the car. "Keep me out of this. I'll probably end up moving to a quiet section inside later."

Clint frowned, and looked at Steve and Thor. The god was still trying to figure out the Midgardian game.

The announcer came over the speakers. "Welcome to Yankee Stadium, blab blah (Tony wasn't listening, anyway.) Please stand for the singing of your national anthem by random ass person."

Steve jumped up, placing his right hand over his heart. Everyone else rose, Clint and Tony pulling the two gods up. "Just do it," Clint growled at them, "It shows respect to this country."

"Why should I respect such a midgardian country I have no power in?" Loki sneered. A single tear glistened in the Captain's eye.

"After this, I'm going to the bar." Tony mumbled, quieting down after a woman with a shrill voice began to sing the anthem.

It ended on a very high note, one that made Loki cringe. "Why must you mortals have such high voices?" Thor asked, sitting down. Steve shrugged, relaxing into his own seat. Tony basically had to jump over his and Thor's knees, dragging Loki to the bar.

"We'll be at the bar-,"

"Brother, you don't drink?"

"I'm not going to drink. The sun hurts my eyes, and I don't want to burn out here."

Fury snorted. "Burn? What, don't want to get a tan, albino?"

Thor jumped up, glaring at the director. "Do not insult my brother!"

"Sit down, Thor." Loki scolded, heading up the stairs together with Stark. Bruce huffed, flipping pages in his book.

Everyone ignored them and turned to the game that was unfolding.

* * *

"YEAH!" Thor and Steve both jumped up, screaming when a Yankee player hit a home run. They screamed at each other, hitting chests. Steve actually stumbled back from the force. Natasha hushed them.

"Jeez, Thor doesn't even know what just happened, why is he cheering?" Clint chuckled, electing a small laugh from the Russian spy.

Captain let out a huff of air, moving past Thor. "I'm going to go get something to eat. Tell me what happens when I get back."

"Hey, can you see how drunk Stark is while you're inside?" Fury asked, rubbing his good eye. The super soldier nodded before wandering up the stairs and into the air conditioned building. It was lavishly furnished, with couches every so often. They had really renovated it since the 40's.. The thought sent a pain through Steve's chest, but he ignored it. He passed by the bar, glancing over and seeing Tony laughing and leaning over onto Loki. With a roll of the eyes, he walked over.

"Tony, I think you've had enough." Three empty bottles of beer sat in front of him, along with his current tumbler. A glass of water sat in front of Loki. With a raise of the eyebrow, the drunk billionaire looked up.

"Steebe!" He laughed, wrapping an arm around his friend. "Sit! How's the game? Enjoying yourself?"

"Yes. Thank you, Tony. You're drunk," He pointed out.

"Just a wee," He muttered, turning back around to the bar. He finished the rest of the glass before setting it back down. Loki looked amused, watching the television above the bar. "H-hey! Capt! I got you a thingy majigger I think you may like. You eat candy, right?" Tony slurred, digging in his suit pocket.

"Tony, no- AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH." He gasped when he saw the Butterfinger pulled out. "I ate these when I was growing up!" He stole the bar, attacking it as he ran back outside to show the rest of the team.

"Well, that's one way to get rid of him," Loki murmured before turning the only half-drunk Tony around and continuing their make-out session that they had previously started. Tony gave a hushed laugh before rolling off onto the carpet with him.

* * *

While Steve was busy enjoying his chocolate bar, while Clint and Natasha bickered back and forth about the game. "Cardinals!" Clint declared, crossing his arms.

"No! The Yankees are going to win!" The woman countered, glaring at him.

The game was now tied in the bottom of the Eighth, and people were starting to get restless.

"Neither," Bruce muttered, closing the book he had just finished. They both turned to him, fire blazing in their eyes.

"SHUT IT, BANNER!"

With a great sigh, Bruce got up and went inside. Fury shook his head at the two agents disapprovingly. "Can't we just watch the game?"

"Not like you care about it," Natasha scoffed.

"Friends!" Thor exclaimed, jumping up. "I require beverage!" He shook the empty plastic cup. They all groaned as the huge, bulky god moved down the small isle, tripping over their feet.

"Next time, we're all going to a hockey game. Where is Stark?!"

"Oh," Steve brushed some chocolate from his lip. "Him and Loki are at the bar."

"Figures," Fury muttered, rubbing his good eye.

Meanwhile, Thor was wandering through the inside of the stadium, holding his cup firmly in his hand. He passed by a small, semi-private lounging area with a leather couch. Currently, the brown sofa was covered in two preoccupied men, one with raven hair and the other with hazel.

"Brother!" Thor bellowed, becoming angry.

"Oh, lord," Bruce muttered, just walking by with a bottle of water. He disappeared around a corner as Loki and Tony tore their lips apart, the dark haired god unwrapping his legs from the genius.

"Brother, I can explain-"

"Thor, please," Tony muttered, inching into the corner of the couch as the god neared. "JARVIS!" He called into his earpiece.

* * *

Fury sighed, leaning back against the hard stadium seat. The game was dragging on, the four watching the snail-paced game. Everyone was interrupted as Iron man crashed through one of the windows across the stadium, followed by an angry god of thunder. Loki was watching from the shattered window, eyes wide.

The players scrambled off the field as Thor went to bring his hammer down onto Tony, who rolled out of the way. "Come on, Thor! He was begging me to!" The statement only made the god angrier. Loki jumped from the window unnoticed, carefully making his way down to the field from the stairs. He simply hopped over the wall when he reached the bottom, strolling through the outfield to where Thor was chasing Ironman around.

"Jesus Christ," Steve muttered, putting his head into his hands. Banner was still gone, Fury was now... furious, Natasha was shocked, and Clint went to receive his bow from Tony's car.

Tony shot at Thor, who bellowed in rage and tried to slam his hammer on Tony's helmet. The billionaire flew up, shooting more energy shots at the god. No one even noticed Loki shifting into his armor, golden light surrounding him as his staff grew into his hands. He shot his staff at Thor, who turned. "Brother, stay out of this! He has tarnished you-"

"Oh, shut it, Thor. I kissed him first. You're just mad, as always, you intolerable" It seems the god picked up on Tonys language, so much it made even made the genius cringe. Thor paled, dropping his hammer as he stared at his brother.

"Well," Tony's faceplate came up, "I think this has been an eventful game. Who wants to go get pizza?"


End file.
